he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
