Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
