I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Come share oat with me in your robe
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
