brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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