I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
