I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
