My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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