I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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