a queef is a wish your heart makes.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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