i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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