I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
