Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's shark week go big or go home
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
