Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
