Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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