I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
