a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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