Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
