my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
