I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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