Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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