i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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