I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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