well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your cock deserves a montage
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
