Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I met the friendliest cop last night
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
