He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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