She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize