Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
