apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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