In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
