Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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