So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
