Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
