people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
