Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
