I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
