these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
