so that wasnt chicken after all
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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