just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
