It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
