Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
