my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
