I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
