another moral hangover. fuck.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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