Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
