It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
