She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
