I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
