Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
