When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
