she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
