apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize