And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
two words...techno handjob
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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