Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
