This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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