You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
