his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
