i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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