If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
