I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
