just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
