Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
sex in a hospital.. check
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
