do herpes really smell.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
