Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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